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Minivan Mom

I never thought I would own a minivan. This is the day we bought our minivan.

Yes, I have kids. All 3 of them are sitting in the van, excited about their new ride.

We didn't need a minivan. SUV's fit 2 kids perfectly, they can fit 3 using the third row.

All my friends who did have minivans raved about them.

"There is so much space!"

"They are so convenient."

"The automatic opening doors are game-changers."

"There is so much more trunk space for traveling."

Then I started hauling around 3 kids and the practicality of the minivan won out.

Yes, there is so much more space. It is more convenient. Automatic doors are a game-changer and you don't have to worry about your kids slamming a car door into someone else's car in the parking lot. Those trunks hold bags, soccer gear, lawn chairs, wagons, coolers, you name it.

I pushed Mat to get a minivan. Not because I wanted to drive it and give up my "fun" car, but because it made sense. It worked out so well for our family of 5, for our 3 kids. We had the room to haul a big stroller around next to all of the sports equipment. The girls weren't squished together in one row of seats. Cora and Quinn could be separated when sisterly love turned into sibling nonsense.

Life with a minivan was alright...until it wasn't.

Now the minivan signifies everyday life with 3 kids.

A life we no longer have.

Everyday I get into that minivan and see an empty seat where a car seat used to be.

I see a big sister missing her little sister in the seat next to her.

I hear 2 voices instead of 3 singing in the back.

I see place where a stroller used to be.

Most of all, I see the life we used to have.

I now hate getting into that minivan. All that it stood for in my mind is gone...all that it signifies glares at me in the rearview mirror, reminding me of who is no longer in that minivan with us.

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